SUPPORT THROUGH SMALL GROUPS

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”  (Galatians 6:2)

It’s amazing to me that some people think the small group movement is a new thing. Small groups are as old as the Bible, and they are so essential. Jesus knew how important it is to have our family and our friends helping us, surrounding us with love, supporting us, encouraging us, setting us free in every moment, but especially in those dramatic moments when we are trying to make a new start with our lives.

Recently a man stopped by to see me. A little over a year ago, he went through a great personal tragedy. He is coming through it with the help of God and with the help of the church, especially his adult Sunday school class. He said, “I was devastated. I was disillusioned and defeated and saw no hope for the future and no relief for my pain. I was so hurt that I was immobilized. All the life was drained out of me, but God brought me back to life… and this church has been there for me every step of the way. My Sunday school class has been so incredible. I don’t know what I would have done without them. I couldn’t have made it without them.”

You know what he was saying, don’t you? He was saying, “God brought me out of the tomb, and my friends in my small group helped me, and supported me… and together, by the grace of God, they loved me back to life.” 

-- James W. Moore and Bob J. Moore in “Lord, Give Me Patience!... And Give It to Me Right Now!” 

#6233

GOD GIVES PERSEVERANCE

“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”  (Hebrews 12:1b-2a NIV)

Clearly, we need perseverance in order to run the race God has set before our lives. We especially need perseverance to keep the faith and keep running when the world feels out of control. Importantly, though, you and I do not need to be the source of that perseverance. In fact, we shouldn’t be. We can’t run very far or keep going very long on our strength alone.

That’s why God gives perseverance to His followers. As we determine in our minds to keep the faith, He fills us with all that we require to keep going – to keep running.

There is an amazing promise found in the book of 2 Peter that I want to make sure you know about: “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness” (1:3 NIV). Right there in black and white, God has promised to give you everything you need to live an authentic, impactful life as a member of His kingdom. And one of those things you need is perseverance. 

-- David Jeremiah in “Keep the Faith: How to Stand Strong in a World Turned Upside Down”

#6024

PAIN – THE GREAT EQUALIZER

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”  (Revelation 21:4 NKJV)

Affliction is a great equalizer.  It makes us all brothers and sisters in a very special way.  Almost anyone who has ever shared a hospital room remembers their roommate; they have traveled together in the fellowship of suffering, and even if they never see each other again, they often feel uniquely close.  This is partly because pain treats us all alike.  It's easier to endure sickness in a private room than in a ward, but when you have to depend on a nurse or an aide for bedpan and bathing, it makes no difference whether you're rich or poor, learned or ignorant. And if you're accustomed to being independent, the burden may be all the harder to bear.

In 1893, shortly after Grover Cleveland had come into his second term in the presidency, it was discovered that he had cancer of the throat and jaw.  National leaders feared that if his illness became public knowledge, the shaky financial condition of the country might grow into a full panic.  So they arranged for a medical team to join the president on a yacht, and skilled surgeons operated as the craft rolled up the East River. "If you must have surgery," someone might say, "that's the way to have it."  Perhaps. But Cleveland wrote later, "I have learned how weak the strongest man is under God's decree; and I see in a new light the necessity of doing my allotted work in the full apprehension of the coming night."

Pain is a great equalizer.  Peasant or president, rich or poor, the dimensions are pretty much the same. 

-- J. Ellsworth Kalas in “If Experience Is Such a Good Teacher Why Do I Keep Repeating the Course?”

#5922

MUTUALLY ENCOURAGED BY MEETING TOGETHER

“Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24–25)

Here are two ways to pray as you head to church, regardless of how indifferent or even fearful you might feel about going.

First, pray that at least one thing would be a significant encouragement to you. Be open to being encouraged. Look for encouragement. It might be a lyric from one of the hymns or songs you sing. It might be someone’s prayer, or a line from a sermon. It might be something someone says to you before the service begins or after it ends. Ask God for this. He means to encourage you.

Second, pray that you would be a significant encouragement to at least one other person. It might be what you say to them. It might simply be seeing you there, faithfully attending even when you don’t fully feel like it. Stick around long enough to have one meaningful conversation. I’m shy; I don’t like moving into a crowded coffee space after church not knowing whom to talk to. But I love lingering in the pew talking to whoever’s around me.

God has designed us to be mutually encouraged by meeting together regularly as His people. To seek it is to go exactly with the grain of what God wants to do for us. These are prayers God means to answer. Trust Him as you walk into church again. 

-- Sam Allberry

#5895

THE INTIMACY OF SMALL GROUPS

“Those who accepted [Peter’s] message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”  (Acts 2:41-42 NIV)

Belonging to a learning faith community provides companionship that sustains us through difficult experiences.  Nothing is as disheartening as a lonely struggle.  Many communities and congregations are too large for people to know others well, and so it's in the intimacy of small groups - classes, Bible studies, choirs, prayer groups – that we learn each other’s' names, pray for one another, and learn to care for one another.  Christian companions become the people God uses to sustain us through the ordinary ups and downs of living, and also through those times of extraordinary darkness and grief. 

-- Robert Schnase in “Five Practices of Fruitful Living” 

#5864

LIFE IS FRAGILE

“Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."  (Matthew 28:20b)

The thread of life is fragile.   A few cells within a healthy body grow erratically and we receive the diagnosis of cancer; a second's misjudgment at an intersection, and a life is lost; a heart that keeps its cadence for decades skips a few beats and we find ourselves in intensive care; a friend loses her baby during pregnancy; an aging parent shows signs of Alzheimer's; violence strikes someone we know.  None of us is immune to such devastating experiences for ourselves, our families, or among our friends.  Inexpressible suffering barges in at unexpected moments.  And everyone balances the more common (yet anguishing) anxieties, setbacks, and losses that challenge our ability to cope – conflict at home, financial loss, trouble with teenagers, struggles with alcohol, feelings of loneliness.  No one lives without facing a threatening darkness.

We overestimate our capacity to handle these things all by ourselves, and we underestimate the power of community to help.  Belonging to a caring community, we discover a sustenance that does not answer all our questions or end all our challenges, but which keeps us connected, rooted, grounded.  When the worst happens, God doesn't promise us an answer; God provides us a relationship.  Through sustaining relationships, we discover that God is not aloof from life and disinterested in us.  Instead, God gets in the trenches and suffers with us.  We are not alone.  God is with us.  God's presence reaches us through the people who love us.  The thread of life is fragile, but the fabric of life is eternal. 

-- Robert Schnase in “Five Practices of Fruitful Living”

#5708

THE SAFETY NET

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”  (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV)

In his book “Falling Into Greatness,” Lloyd Ogilvie relates this story about the purpose of safety nets to trapeze artists: “A friend of mine, a high flier in the circus in his youth, tells me that the secret of becoming a successful trapeze artist is in overcoming the fear of falling. ‘Once you know that the net below will catch you, you stop worrying about falling,’ he said. ‘You actually learn to fall successfully! What I mean is, you can concentrate on catching the trapeze swinging toward you, and not on falling, because repeated falls in the past have convinced you that the net hurts only if you stiffen up and resist it. The result of falling and being caught by the net brings a mysterious confidence and daring on the trapeze. You fall less. Each fall makes you able to risk more!’”

For me faith-based small groups have been my safety net. They have encouraged me to take greater risks in my journey of following Christ, knowing that they are there to catch me if and when I fall. They have supported me in my calling to go into the ministry, throughout my years of serving Christ in the local church, and now in retirement. They have been there through the ups and downs of life, each time encouraging greater leaps of faith, and catching me when I do fall. At the same time, I have been part of that safety net for others as they live out their journey with Christ.

If you are not part of a Christ-centered small group, talk to your pastor or church leaders. They can help you get the support you need to fly high. 

– Rev. David T. Wilkinson, SOUND BITES Ministry

#5697

HOW TO FINISH WELL – Part 5 of 6

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”  (1 Thessalonians 5:11-19 NIV)

How do we finish well?... Those who finish well have a Christ-centered life,… a focused life… a disciplined life,… a teachable spirit,…

A fifth characteristic of those who finish well is that they have a well-networked life… You can’t run this race alone. Success in the journey depends upon a network of key relationships. Those who finish well have had not just one but numerous mentors. There are people who pray for you. There is personal and group accountability. There is shepherding by pastors and encouragement by spiritual friends -- co-travelers on the path to help you get there.

-- Adapted from Donald W. Sweeting and George Sweeting in “How to Finish the Christian Life: Following Jesus in the Second Half”

#5622

MEETING TOGETHER

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.”  (Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT)

I was struck by one observation from an alcoholic friend of mine: "When I'm late to church, people turn around and stare at me with frowns of disapproval. I get the clear message that I'm not as responsible as they are. When I'm late to AA, the meeting comes to a halt and everyone jumps up to hug and welcome me. They realize that my lateness may be a sign that I almost didn't make it. When I show up, it proves that my desperate need for them won out over my desperate need for alcohol."

-- Philip Yancey in “Christianity Today” magazine

#5430

KEEPING THE FIRE BURNING

"Let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching."  (Hebrews 10:24-25 NRSV)

One winter night we were sitting near the fire and warming ourselves while our eight-year-old son tended the fire, a task he enjoys. He would take out a small coal from the fire and watch it burn for a little while. It would soon go out. Then he would put the coal back into the fire and watch it begin to burn brightly again.

This experience helped me to see a truth about our Christian lives: we need fellowship with other believers to keep our spirit burning within us and to encourage us as committed witnesses. Sometimes we stop going to church or to a particular fellowship because someone hurt us at some time or we did not like something about that place. But when we distance ourselves from other Christians, we can quench the fire of the Spirit within us and lose our enthusiasm to witness for Christ. 

-- Pramila Barkataki (Uttar Pradesh, India) in “The Upper Room Devotional”, published by The Upper Room, Nashville, TN.   Used with permission.

#5389

INTERDEPENDENCE DAY

“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care -- then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”   (Philippians 2:1-4 The Message)

July 4^th, Independence Day in the US, is now in our rearview mirror. We have celebrated our independence and our freedom, and rightly so. And yet it seems that today our drive for independence and freedom means I can do whatever I want, no matter the consequences on others. The polarization of society and the news headlines seem to indicate as much. Maybe we need another holiday – Interdependence Day, a day that we embrace interdependence without seeing it as a threat to our freedom.

The Christian life is an intensely personal matter, for the Spirit of Christ dwells at the very core of our beings. But it is never a private affair just between us and God. The interdependence found in Christian community provides the means of support to stay on the right road and the corrective against going down our own paths of self-obsession and sometimes self-destruction. It also provides a witness to the world that an other-focused interdependence is much healthier in the long run than a self-absorbed independence. 

-- Rev. David T. Wilkinson, SOUND BITES Ministry

#5385

WHAT GRIEF NEEDS

Editor’s note: Joe Bayly wrote a book many years ago about how he and his wife coped with the deaths of three of their sons. He gave the following advice:

Sensitivity in the presence of grief should usually make us silent, more listening. “I’m sorry” is honest; “I know how you feel” is usually not -- even though you may have experienced the death of a person who had the same familial relationship to you as the deceased person had to the grieving one. If the person feels that you can understand, he’ll tell you. Then you may want to share your own honest, not prettied-up feelings in your personal aftermath with death. Don’t try to “prove” anything to a survivor. An arm around the shoulder, a firm grip on the hand, a hug: these are the proofs grief needs, not logical reasoning.

I was sitting, torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God’s dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly, he said things I knew were true. I was unmoved, except to wish he’d go away. He finally did.

Another came and sat beside me. He didn’t ask leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour and more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left. I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go. 

-- Joe Bayly in “Last Thing We Talk About”

#5360

COMPANIONS FOR THE JOURNEY

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another -- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV)

Jesus may be God Incarnate, Lord of All Creation, Emmanuel, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, Coming Messiah, Light of Life, and so on, but the Master Himself deliberately engaged His public ministry here on earth by surrounding Himself with a small covenant group of other men who knew and loved God. How much more should we place ourselves in the company of fellow believers?

Jesus is our model and guide. Understanding and committing to the same spiritual disciplines the Master found important in His ministry among us is no small potatoes. There’s no way we can close our eyes to Christ’s precedent: finding companions for the journey is huge. 

-- Derek Maul in “Get Real: A Spiritual Journey for Men”

#5290

FULL OF SUFFERING

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?... No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow -- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love."  (Romans 8:35-38 NLT)

When you are sad, tired, lonely and full of suffering, take refuge in the sanctuary of your soul and there you will find your Brother, your Friend, Jesus, who will console you, support you and strengthen you. 

-- Charles de Foucauld in “Meditations of a Hermit”

#5053

ENCOURAGING ONE ANOTHER

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”  (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

In “Witnesses of a Third Way: A Fresh Look at Evangelism”, Robert Neff's chapter includes this story about visiting a church service: "It was one of those mornings when the tenor didn't get out of bed on the right side… As I listened to his faltering voice, I looked around.  People were pulling out hymnals to locate the hymn being sung by the soloist.  By the second verse, the congregation had joined the soloist in the hymn.  And by the third verse, the tenor was beginning to find the range.  And by the fourth verse, it was beautiful.  And on the fifth verse, the congregation was absolutely silent, and the tenor sang the most beautiful solo of his life.  That is life in the body of Christ, enabling one another to sing the tune Christ has given us." 

--  John H. Unger

#4865

OUR NEED FOR NEIGHBORS

"Never abandon a friend -- either yours or your father’s. When disaster strikes, you won’t have to ask your brother for assistance. It’s better to go to a neighbor than to a brother who lives far away." (Proverbs 27:10 NLT)

Often it takes a moment of crisis to wake us up to our need for others, making us aware of the interdependence that is a natural part of being human. When things are going well, we tend to live an illusion of independence, not only from God but also from our fellow human beings. As long as life moves smoothly forward, we tend to think we can handle everything on our own. However, a passing storm -- any kind of setback or crisis -- reminds us that we need help.

-- Sarah Parsons in “A Clearing Season”


#4690

GIANT STEPS IN SMALL GROUPS

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”  (Hebrews 10:23-25 RSV)

When people are in small groups where someone knows them -- where they can ask the threatening, embarrassing, naïve questions, and share where they are -- then they can take giant steps in their faith. That just doesn't happen in a church service of 200 or 500 people.

-- Howard Hendricks

#4668

TRULY ENCOURAGING

“What can we say about all this? If God is on our side, can anyone be against us?... In everything we have won more than a victory because of Christ who loves us.”  (Romans 8:31,37 CEV)

Good leaders know how to get the best out of people by continually encouraging them to take steps of faith in their service to God in the church and elsewhere…

What does it mean to be truly encouraging? The answer may seem obvious, but many leaders don’t get it. They have great expectations for their followers, but they offer little positive support. An encouraging leader helps people to believe in themselves, and instills in them a sense of confidence -- for confidence literally means to have faith (fidelis) with (con) another person. When we encourage people, we not only have faith in them, but at deeper levels we instill in them a faith that God is with them. And when God is with us, who can be against us? Our faith in people engenders the confidence that can lead them to achievements of which they didn’t think themselves capable.

-- N. Graham Standish in “Becoming a Blessed Church: Forming a Church of Spiritual Purpose, Presence, and Power”


#4667

FOUR WAYS CHURCH IS LIKE FAMILY

"They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”  (Acts 2:42, 46, 47 NIV)

1. We're joined together by something greater than our personal preferences or life circumstances. We don’t get to choose our family, and similarly, we don’t get to choose our church family. We are made God’s children through the Holy Spirit the moment we are saved (Romans 8:15-17). Families are bound by blood, just as Christians are bound by the blood Jesus shed on the cross for us.

2. We have our own traditions and celebrations that are passed down from generation to generation. My family has traditions for every major holiday. Dad always carves the turkey. Grandma makes sweet potato pie, and we always watch "A Christmas Story" on Christmas day. It’s almost a ritual. Likewise, the church has traditions that have been passed down from generation to generation. The Lord’s Supper, or communion, is a great example. For thousands of years, the Church has celebrated communion to remember that Jesus died for our sins on the cross (Matthew 26:26-28).

3. We don't always get along, but that doesn't stop us from having each other's back. Brothers and sisters fight. They get mad at each other, especially during the holidays. But if our siblings get hurt by someone else, we get protective. This happens in the church, too. We are going to make mistakes, and we choose to love each other enough to hold each other accountable for our behavior. That’s having each other’s back.

4. We get fed constantly, whether we're hungry or not. Every mom wants to make sure you’ve been fed. It doesn’t matter if you just had your second helping at a holiday dinner or not, they will make sure you got enough. Your church family wants to serve you in the same way at church. From daily devotionals. to serving opportunities. to small groups, to Sunday worship, there are a number of ways to be spiritually fed and grow in your relationship with Jesus.

-- Jason Far, adapted

#4603

HELPING ONE ANOTHER

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”  (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ESV)

Picture two travelers in the desert. One is dying of thirst. The other has a huge jug of water, but he’s exhausted from carrying it. Eventually, one dies of thirst, then the other of fatigue.

All right, it’s a gloomy ending. Let’s try it another way. The thirsty man says, “”Hey, why not give me a drink and I’ll help you carry your jug?” That’s all it would take for both to survive.

Many in our society are like the first two travelers. We guard our independence. We strive to be self-sufficient. We don’t want to need each other. But if we’re going to survive in these changing times, we must leave rugged individualism behind. We’re not meant to go it alone. We can help one another. Each of us has resources to offer.

-- David Mains, Marian Oliver, Randy Peterson in “Survival Skills for Changing Times”

#4354