THE PRACTICE AND ART OF GRACIOUSNESS

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

Graciousness is not accidental. It is a practice -- a deliberate way of moving through the world -- and it is an art -- something shaped, refined, and expressed with beauty.

Paul’s words in Ephesians remind us that graciousness is never self-generated. It begins with God. We forgive because we have been forgiven. We show compassion because compassion has been shown to us. We extend kindness because kindness has already been poured over our lives in Christ. Grace received becomes grace expressed.

But this is where the art comes in. Because extending grace to others is rarely simple. It requires patience when someone is short with us. It requires humility when we feel justified in our frustration. It requires restraint when our emotions want to run ahead of our faith.

Graciousness is the quiet choice to treat others not according to how they’ve acted, but according to how God has acted toward us. As God had been gracious toward us in Christ, we should be gracious toward others.

And when we practice it -- again and again -- it becomes something lovely. A faithful witness. A sweet fragrance. A beautiful reflection of the God who has been endlessly gracious with us. 

-- SOUND BITES Ministry™ 

#6454

EYES OF COMPASSION

“When Joseph came to them in the morning, he saw that they were troubled. So he asked Pharaoh's officers who were with him in custody in his master's house, ‘Why are your faces downcast today?’”  (Genesis 40:6-7 ESV)

Joseph’s suffering gave him eyes of compassion.

In the midst of the storm, do you read the faces of people around you the way Joseph did? Most people wear on their faces what is going on inside of them.

Do you look for friends, coworkers, people who serve you, or children in your life, and notice if their faces are downcast? It is a paradox: Self-preoccupation is actually self-defeating and produces loneliness.

Joseph expressed his heart to his fellow prisoners in a single question: “Why are your faces downcast today?”

Someone noticed them. Someone cared about their lives. Words can do this. Every word you speak boosts someone’s hope a bit, or kills it just a little…

Here’s a little test: During the stormy periods in your life, how often have you expressed genuine concern for others when you have had nothing to gain? 

-- John Ortberg in “If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat”

#6308

A HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT FOR FLOURISHING

“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”  (Acts 2:42 NIV)

We live in an increasingly fragmented and disconnected world. Though social media and other technology have made our world seemingly more connected, people have fewer genuine friends than ever before. It feels scary and threatening to allow ourselves to be known or to invest in knowing someone else at a deep level. It is much easier and more convenient to stay on the surface. Yet when we take the risk of being authentic with a small group of people, we can experience God's grace and love coming through others, which leads to freedom and transformation.

John Ortberg writes: "God uses people to form people. That is why what happens between you and another person is never merely human-to-human interaction -- the Spirit longs to be powerfully at work in every encounter." So the goal of small groups is to create environments where Spirit-driven, life-giving experiences can flourish. While the type of group or study can help promote a positive environment, the real things that promote a healthy environment for flourishing are prayer, support, service, confession, worship, accountability, conflict resolution, social gatherings, and simply doing life together. Regardless of the specific guidelines a church may have in their small-group ministry, its objective ultimately is to help people engage in relationships that help them become more like Christ. Spend time building an environment that allows true relationships to flourish. 

-- Excerpted from an article called “Making a Case for Small Groups” by Carolyn Taketa

#6298

INSTRUMENTS IN GOD’S HEALING

“Let each of you look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”  (Philippians 2:4 ESV)

There comes a time, if we are to be healed, that we turn our attention away from our wounds and focus on something greater than ourselves. Many wounds do not heal because we continuously irritate them by constant examination. If we want to be healed, it helps to forget about ourselves and our wounds for a while and lose ourselves in helping, serving, and caring for others…

We all have the opportunity to be what Henri Nouwen calls “wounded healers.” Because we know what it is like to be wounded, we can understand, help, and be an instrument in God’s healing. 

-- James W. Moore and Bob J. Moore in “Lord, Give Me Patience!... And Give It to Me Right Now!” 

#6120

A WAY OF LIFE TOGETHER

When we look at the early church we get a picture of small communities of people who followed Jesus together. The Book of Acts, especially Acts 2:42-47, gives us a great picture of the early church and the components of biblical community, which encompassed both the "temple courts" and "house to house."

These believers engaged in life together through teaching, fellowship, communion, prayer, miracles, radical generosity, and corporate worship. They spent time together eating, learning, celebrating, proclaiming the Good News, and supporting each other. In addition, the 50-plus "one another" verses in the New Testament flesh out other aspects of this community. For example, it was a place where people loved, forgave, served, bore burdens, encouraged, exhorted, prayed, equipped, spoke truth in love, confessed sins, and treated each other as precious members of one body.

God never intended for us to live the Christian life alone. How can we apply these "one another" references unless we are in intentional, close relationships with each other? God calls us to love, not in an abstract or superficial way, but in a deep, face to face, life-on-life, transformative way -- which is difficult and inevitably messy.

In our modern culture, small groups are often viewed merely as a program or a fellowship ministry within the church. But for the New Testament church, it was a way of life, encompassing every area of their lives. Their relationships with one another were critical to their pursuit of Jesus, their growth in Christ, and their witness to the Good News. It would be impossible to experience biblical community apart from spiritually significant, intentional relationships with other believers. Relational structures like small groups, therefore, are an integral part of "being" the church and not just "doing" church.

-- Carolyn Taketa in “Making a Case for Small Groups”

#6039

ENGAGING IN MENTORING RELATIONSHIPS

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."  (Proverbs 27:17 NIV)

This verse beautifully captures the essence of mentoring. Just as iron sharpens iron through friction and contact, mentoring involves a mutual process of growth and improvement.

When we engage in mentoring relationships, we not only impart knowledge and wisdom but also receive insights and perspectives that refine us. It's a dynamic exchange where both the mentor and mentee are shaped and strengthened.

In the context of faith, mentoring is a powerful tool for spiritual growth and for making disciples of Jesus Christ. It allows us to share our experiences, encourage one another, and hold each other accountable. Through these interactions, we become better equipped to navigate life's challenges and fulfill our God-given potential in Christ.

Remember, mentoring is not just about teaching; it's about walking alongside someone, offering support, and being open to learning from them as well. As we invest in others, we too are sharpened and enriched, reflecting the transformative power of God's wisdom in our lives. 

-- SOUND BITES Ministry, compiled from a variety of sources 

#6028

RIGHTS… AND RESPONSIBILITIES

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”  (Ephesians 4:1-3 NIV)

Many today are quick to seize upon their rights, but are far less eager to embrace their responsibilities. Certainly, Jesus died to make available certain rights and privileges to us, but what about our Kingdom responsibilities?

Someone once said, “I am tired of hearing about our rights. The time has come to hear about our responsibilities.”  While that statement was probably made as a secular observation of society, there is no doubt a great need for believers to make sure our own focus, attitude, and perspective is healthy.  If we are so preoccupied trying to secure our rights that we are not focusing on serving the needs of others, then we may have some significant adjustments to make…

I encourage you to learn all that you can about your rights and privileges in Christ Jesus, and enjoy them fully. However, let’s also remember that this whole thing we call Christianity isn’t just about what we can get; it’s about what we can give. It is about rights AND responsibilities.  

-- Excerpted from an article entitled “Rights and Responsibilities” by Tony Cooke 

#5931

GROWING OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH ONE ANOTHER

The New Testament places great emphasis on the importance of personal relationships among believers. We are told to love one another (John 13:34), to encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11), to comfort one another (2 Corinthians 1:4), to share our burdens with one another (Galatians 6:2), to instruct one another (Romans 15:14), to forgive one another (Colossians 3:13), to serve one another (Galatians 5:13), and to pray for one another (James 5:16). All of this obviously means more than merely having superficial acquaintances.

Knowing other people on this level requires real work and commitment on our part. And it involves a setting where we can be “real” with each other. For us to develop these real, vibrant, biblical relationships, we need to be face-to-face. Think about the various settings you are in at church. Are you just looking at the back of the head in front of you? Or are you in a small group or class where you have the opportunity to be real, to be face-to-face with other believers? These “one another” passages are not just suggestions but are essential for fostering a loving and unified community.

As we strive to live out these “one another” commands, let’s remember that they are not just about actions but about the heart behind them. Genuine love, humility, and a desire to build each other up should motivate us. By doing so, we reflect the love of Christ and create a community that glorifies God.

For over 50 years I have experienced that something very BIG happens in small groups. Don’t miss out on an opportunity to grow in your relationship with God and with one another. 

-- Rev. David T. Wilkinson, SOUND BITES Ministry

#5930

FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER

"Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:31-32 NRSV)

Forgiveness is not foolishness.

Forgiveness is, at its core, choosing to see your offender with different eyes.  When some Moravian missionaries took the message of God to the Eskimos, the missionaries struggled to find a word in the native language for forgiveness.  They finally landed on this cumbersome twenty-four-letter choice: issumagijoujungnainermik.  This formidable assembly of letters is literally translated “not being able to think of it anymore.”

To forgive is [to “put away,”] to move on, not to think about the offense anymore.  You don’t excuse him, endorse her, or embrace them.  You just route thoughts about them through heaven.

-- Max Lucado in “Facing Your Giants”

#5929

BE MERCIFUL TO ONE ANOTHER

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”  (Matthew 5:7 NIV)

In this Beatitude, Jesus highlights the importance of mercy in the life of a believer. Mercy is more than just feeling compassion; it is actively showing kindness and forgiveness to others, even when they may not deserve it. This reflects the heart of God, who is described as the “Father of mercies” (2 Corinthians 1:3).

Mercy involves meeting the needs of those who are suffering, offering forgiveness to those who have wronged us, and showing love and compassion to the lonely and rejected. It is a powerful expression of God’s love working through us.

So what should we do to be merciful? Show Compassion: Look for opportunities to help those in need around you. Whether it’s through a kind word, a helping hand, or a listening ear, your acts of mercy can make a significant difference. Forgive Freely: Holding onto grudges can harden our hearts. Instead, choose to forgive those who have hurt you, just as God has forgiven you. Reflect God’s Love: Let your actions be a reflection of God’s mercy. When others see your kindness and compassion, they are seeing a glimpse of God’s love. 

-- Compiled from a Variety of Sources

#5928

BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER

The apostle Paul offers instructions for Christians to conduct themselves in all areas of life. These words are particularly pertinent when it comes to politics:

“Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. … Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another." (Ephesians 4:29-32)

Paul notes that when we act in belligerent ways we “grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” The Greek word for grieve means to “inflict distress or intense sadness upon.” That is what Christians do to God when they speak words that tear others down, or that slander them. Christians are called to speak words that “give grace” -- that is, undeserved kindness -- to all. 

-- Adam Hamilton in “When Christians Get It Wrong” 

#5927

ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.”  (Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT)

Do you need encouragement right now? My best advice to you is to go encourage someone else. Are you caught up in your own needs? Go fill the needs of others. You’ll reap what you sow, and the love you give will return to you.

But some people have actually told me, “I don’t know anyone who needs encouragement.” Would you like to know the best place to find them? In your church.

Fred Smith, a businessman, asked a church usher about his responsibilities. The man said, “Nothing more than being there, shaking hands, finding my place in the aisle, taking the offering, and showing up for an occasional ushers meeting.” Smith thought this didn’t sound very biblical, but he observed in the conversation that this man had a passion about the ministry of hospitality. So many people come to church filled with cares and anxiety, the usher had noticed, and they need a warm handshake, a listening ear, perhaps a hug. The man found his place to serve God quietly but profoundly.

This weekend, make it a project to go to church simply as an encourager. Ask God to direct your steps to someone who needs a dose of love. 

-- David Jeremiah in “Keep the Faith: How to Stand Strong in a World Turned Upside Down”

#5925

COMMITTED TO ONE ANOTHER

“Now you are no longer strangers to God and foreigners to heaven, but you are members of God’s very own family, citizens of God’s country, and you belong in God’s household with every other Christian. What a foundation you stand on now: the apostles and the prophets; and the cornerstone of the building is Jesus Christ Himself! We who believe are carefully joined together with Christ as parts of a beautiful, constantly growing temple for God. And you also are joined with Him and with each other by the Spirit and are part of this dwelling place of God.”  (Ephesians 2:19-22 TLB)

When you became a Christian, you committed yourself to Jesus Christ. Now you can become a part of the local body of believers committing yourself to those people. That is what “church membership” is -- a commitment to other Christians. It is a decision to become a participant, not merely a spectator. You stop being a consumer and become a contributor…

Who can count on you? Can anyone? There is no such thing as a Lone-Ranger Christian. Koinonia, the Greek word translated “fellowship” in the Bible, means being as committed to each other as we are to Jesus Christ. Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). One way love expresses itself is in faithfulness to others [in the body of Christ, the church]. 

-- Rick Warren in “God’s Power to Change Your Life”

#5834

IN TIMES OF SORROW

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  (Colossians 3:12-13 NIV)

Many people have told me they “don’t know what to say” to the family of someone who has died and, sadly, for fear of saying the “wrong thing,” end up saying nothing at all. People in mourning need our support. In times of sorrow, one word, one gesture, can mean everything.

Each one of us must take the initiative. Hold someone’s hand. Send a poem [or Scripture verse], a photograph, a letter of remembrance. If you buy a card, add a personal message. If you feel awkward, simply say, “I’ve been thinking of you.” This will create an opening. Don’t ask what you can do. Anticipate and act. Listen. Be compassionate. Don’t give advice, philosophize, or tell the person you know how they’re feeling. You don’t. Statements such as “it was God’s will” or “Your loved one is better off now” are insensitive sentiments, akin to a poke with a sharp stick. It’s best to be true to yourself and to the person who has died. If you knew them well, create a picture, a memory of a time you spent together, for his or her family -- a night at the movies, an afternoon over a cup of tea, an ongoing joke only known to the two of you -- the most common recollection has uncommon meaning to people in mourning, particularly if it’s a story they’ve never heard. You have different memories than they do. Think of your reminiscence as a tiny eulogy, an addition to their family archives, and know that if it comes with compassion the contribution will be welcome. 

-- Nancy Cobb in “In Lieu of Flowers: A Conversation for the Living”

#5695

JUST JOKING

“Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking!’”  (Proverbs 26:18-19 NIV)

A man had the habit of making fun of people as a joke. He would often lapse into extremely poor taste, and he offended regularly. When people would react in anger, he would accuse them of not having a sense of humor, and he would say, “Hey, I’m only kidding. You know how much I think of you.” Then he would turn around and insult them all over again. He thought that he was being immensely humorous and clever, and many people laughed at his jokes, just so long as they weren’t the target of them.

There is no such thing as a harmless joke at the expense of another being’s feelings or dignity. Christ calls us to respect and love one another, and we have no right to do anything that might prove hurtful. Our words should build each other up, not provide a stumbling block. Ephesians 4:29 states, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

A lot of cruelty has been masked as jokes throughout the centuries, but one day God will judge what was funny, and what was evil. It is the duty of every person of God to weigh the impact of their words and to speak in ways which are a blessing rather than a curse. The Lord rejoices when our words are sweet and gentle, but His wrath is kindled by words which burn and cause anguish. 

-- Adapted from “Daily Wisdom from the Bible: Encouragement for Every Day” by Dan and Nancy Dick

#5675

REBUKE FROM A PROPHET

"A man who says he loves God..."

One time, twenty or so years ago, I was in Japan on a speaking tour with a close personal friend. He was a number of years older than I was. As we walked down the street in Yokohama, Japan, the name of a common friend came up, and I said something unkind about that person. It was sarcastic. It was cynical. It was a put-down. My older friend stopped, turned, and faced me until his face was right in front of mine. With deep, slow words he said, "Gordon, a man who says he loves God would not say a thing like that about a friend."

He could have put a knife into my ribs, and the pain would not have been any less. He did what a prophet does. But you know something? There have been ten thousand times in the last twenty years that I have been saved from making a jerk of myself. When I've been tempted to say something unkind about a brother or sister, I hear my friend's voice say, "Gordon, a man who says he loves God would not speak in such a way about a friend."

Prophets do that. They remind us of the truth and where we are falling short. If you avoid prophets -- and a lot of people do -- you do so at the peril of your spiritual journey. You and I need [friends who are] prophets.

-- Gordon MacDonald in a sermon titled "Feeling As God Feels"

#5656

HOW TO FINISH WELL – Part 5 of 6

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”  (1 Thessalonians 5:11-19 NIV)

How do we finish well?... Those who finish well have a Christ-centered life,… a focused life… a disciplined life,… a teachable spirit,…

A fifth characteristic of those who finish well is that they have a well-networked life… You can’t run this race alone. Success in the journey depends upon a network of key relationships. Those who finish well have had not just one but numerous mentors. There are people who pray for you. There is personal and group accountability. There is shepherding by pastors and encouragement by spiritual friends -- co-travelers on the path to help you get there.

-- Adapted from Donald W. Sweeting and George Sweeting in “How to Finish the Christian Life: Following Jesus in the Second Half”

#5622

LIVING IN COMMUNITY

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”  (Romans 12:10-16 NIV)

When I think of community, I think of a group of people who want to know me as well as I know myself -- people who challenge my thinking, help me grow, and love me unconditionally.  Community like that is incredibly freeing.

When Jesus encountered the woman at the well in John 4, He told her all about herself.  At first, she was caught off guard and uneasy.  But she soon went back to her town and told everyone to come and meet the man who knew all about her.

As believers, we have a great opportunity to use community to reach others with the gospel.  As we participate in community, people on the outside see that and want to be part of it.  I encourage you to find community and to share that community with others.

-- Toben and Joanne Heim in “Great Expectations”

#5615

SACRED STORIES

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…”  (1 Peter 3:15 NIV)

Everyone has a story. I believe God is in our stories – in the initial experiences, in the encounters along the way, in the telling and retelling, and in the hearing. I have spent the past fifteen years telling my story to pretty much anyone who would listen, with groups ranging from twenty to twenty thousand. Sometimes the telling occurred in a formal setting; other times it happened more casually. I have discovered that by telling my story, others are encouraged to tell theirs. Often I have the joy of hearing them. To tell your story, you must be true to yourself and real about your feelings. You have to be honest, and you have to tell your story in a way others will hear and be encouraged to participate. It’s in the dialogue that we find our way and discover that we can rewrite the endings. The story continues throughout our lifetime. 

-- Celia Whitler in “On the Way to Somewhere: Stories and Songs for the Journey”

#5601

IN THE COMMUNITY OF A SMALL GROUP

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up… A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”  (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV)

Ecclesiastes provides a visual image of what it means for us to be present in Christian community with a small group of fellow disciples. The first Methodists both believed and practiced that principle.

John and Charles Wesley were engaged in small groups that were designed to counteract the widespread spiritual apathy and casual immorality of the time by promoting holiness of heart and life. Those groups were the first examples of the kinds of small groups that Wesley would later organize into a network of “class meetings,” “bands,” and “societies.” These groups would become the organizational genius of the Methodist movement. When the movement had grown to the point that John Wesley was preaching to thousands of people at a time, he observed that those who were active participants in the small groups continued to grow in their faith, while those who were not engaged in such a group quickly fell away.

That principle is just as true today as it was in eighteenth-century England. The evidence is clear that if an individual’s only contact with the congregation is worship, there is a good chance that he or she either will fall away or will miss out on the concern and care of the church community. Growth to maturity as a disciple is connected to others in the community of a small group.  

-- Adapted from “A Disciple’s Path: Deepening Your Relationship with Christ and the Church” by James A. Harnish

#5550