HATRED WILL BREAK YOUR BACK

“Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper -- it only leads to harm.”  (Psalm 37:8 NLT)

Oh, the gradual grasp of hatred. Its damage begins like the crack in my windshield. Thanks to a speeding truck on a gravel road, my window was chipped. With time the nick became a crack, and the crack became a winding tributary. Soon the windshield was a spider web of fragments. I couldn’t drive my car without thinking of the jerk who drove too fast. Though I’ve never seen him, I could describe him. He is some deadbeat bum who cheats on his wife, drives with a six-pack on the seat, and keeps the television so loud the neighbors can’t sleep. His carelessness blocked my vison. (Didn’t do much for my view out the windshield either.)

Ever heard the expression “blind rage”?

Let me be very clear. Hatred will sour your outlook and break your back. The load of bitterness is simply too heavy. Your knees will buckle under the strain, and your heart will break beneath the weight. The mountain before you is steep enough without the heaviness of hatred on your back. The wisest choice – the only choice – is for you to drop the anger. You will never be called upon to give anyone more grace than God has already given you…

The more we immerse ourselves in grace, the more likely we are to give grace. 

-- Max Lucado in “In the Grip of Grace”

#6057

BEING ANGRY WITH GOD – Part 1 of 2

"Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord.”  (Psalm 4:4 NKJV)

Author John Killinger tells about the manager of a minor league baseball team who got so frustrated with his center fielder’s performance that he jerked him out of the game and played the position himself. The first hard-hit ball that came to the manager took a bad hop and smashed into his mouth. His next play was a high fly ball that he lost in the sun -- until it smacked him in the forehead. The third ball that came his way was a hard line drive that flew between his hands and popped him in the eye. Furious, the manager ran off the field to the dugout, grabbed the center fielder by the shirt and shouted, “You’ve got center field so messed up, even I can’t play it!” (From “750 Engaging Illustrations for Pastors, Teachers, and Writers”)

When it comes to the difficult seasons of our lives, God is the subject of more than His share of fingerpointing. A seventeen-year-old accused of burning down a church in Nashville, Indiana explained at his trial that he took a cigarette lighter to the nearly century-old building because, in his words, “I was angry with God.”

One woman, having lost both her husband and son in separate accidents, posted a notice on the internet that declared: “I am ANGRY at God. I am VERY ANGRY!” She dared to say out loud what you and I really feel sometimes. When our world is turned upside down, it’s easy to believe that God is the culprit.

God understands our anger, and when we pray, it’s a good thing to tell Him what we honestly feel. But sustained bitterness toward the Lord who loves us is irrational and unwise. 

-- David Jeremiah in “Keep the Faith: How to Stand Strong in a World Turned Upside Down”

#5951

FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER

"Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:31-32 NRSV)

Forgiveness is not foolishness.

Forgiveness is, at its core, choosing to see your offender with different eyes.  When some Moravian missionaries took the message of God to the Eskimos, the missionaries struggled to find a word in the native language for forgiveness.  They finally landed on this cumbersome twenty-four-letter choice: issumagijoujungnainermik.  This formidable assembly of letters is literally translated “not being able to think of it anymore.”

To forgive is [to “put away,”] to move on, not to think about the offense anymore.  You don’t excuse him, endorse her, or embrace them.  You just route thoughts about them through heaven.

-- Max Lucado in “Facing Your Giants”

#5929

BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER

The apostle Paul offers instructions for Christians to conduct themselves in all areas of life. These words are particularly pertinent when it comes to politics:

“Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. … Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another." (Ephesians 4:29-32)

Paul notes that when we act in belligerent ways we “grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” The Greek word for grieve means to “inflict distress or intense sadness upon.” That is what Christians do to God when they speak words that tear others down, or that slander them. Christians are called to speak words that “give grace” -- that is, undeserved kindness -- to all. 

-- Adam Hamilton in “When Christians Get It Wrong” 

#5927

DOING WHAT JESUS SAYS

It is easier to be smart than to be good. You don’t need to know more from the Bible; you just need to do what you already know. We don’t become doers on our own, of course. As we read the Scripture, we ask the Spirit to help us understand what to do in response, and the intersection of what the Scriptures teach and how our lives unfold will give us a never-ceasing stream to actually do what Jesus says. And when we forget, another chance will come along.

I was picking up a prescription one Saturday afternoon before a church service, and because I was in a hurry, I had called the night before to make sure it would be there. But when I got there, the man behind the counter told me it wouldn’t be ready until the next week. Apparently there was a mix-up between the medical people, the insurance people, and the pharmaceutical people.

“But I’ve got to have it,” I replied. I was scheduled to leave the United States the next day. “Well, it’s not ready,” the clerk said. “But the automated system told me last night it would be ready today,” I retorted. “There is a flaw in the automated system then,” he told me.

All of a sudden I felt unbelievable anger well inside me. A flaw in the system? I wanted to say, There’s a flaw in you! I didn’t say that, because people from my church might have been around. (That is an occupational hazard of being a pastor.) But with every gesture and tone that I could, I expressed contempt and irritation with the man behind the counter. I didn’t simply feel anger, I wanted to feel it. I indulged it. I wanted to make him feel small. I was amazed at my own ugliness.

When I returned to the church, I opened a Bible in my office and read a single phrase -- “love one another” -- and had to call a friend to tell him there was an inner jerk inside me that’s scary.

Then, after I got back from my trip, I went to the pharmacy to tell the man behind the counter I was sorry for being so irritated and how much I appreciated his help. And I was back in the flow.  

-- John Ortberg in “The Me I Want To Be” 

#5630

THE WOLVES WITHIN

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.”  (Philippians 4:8 NIV)

An old grandfather said to his grandson who came in to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story:"

"I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those who have taken so much with no sorrow for what they do; but hate wears you down and does not hurt your enemy. It is like drinking a poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm.  He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended.  He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.  But… the other wolf… Ah! The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper.  He fights everyone, all of the time, for no reason.  He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great.  It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed." 

-- The story of two wolves is a classic fable that is credited to the Cherokee or Lenape people. It is also known as “Which Wolf Do You Feed?”

#5464

RESENTMENT AND BITTERNESS

Do you have a whole in your heart? Perhaps the wound is old. A parent abused you; a teacher slighted you… And you are angry.

Or perhaps the wound is fresh. The friend who owes you money just drove by in a new car. The boss who hired you with promises of promotions has forgotten how to pronounce your name. Your circle of friends escaped on a weekend get-away, and you weren’t invited… And you are hurt.

Part of you is broken, and the other part is bitter. Part of you wants to cry, and part of you wants to fight. The tears you cry are hot because they come from your heart, where there is a fire burning. It’s the fire of anger. It’s blazing. It’s consuming. Its flames leap up under a streaming pot of revenge.

And you are left with a decision. “Do I put the fire out or heat it up? Do I get over it or get even? Do I release it or resent it? Do I let my hurts heal, or do I let hurt turn into hate?... Resentment is the deliberate decision to nurse the offense until it becomes a black, furry, growling grudge…

Unfaithfulness is wrong. Revenge is bad. But the worst part of all is that, without forgiveness, bitterness is all that is left. 

-- Max Lucado in “The Applause of Heaven”

#5215

ANGER AND SIN

“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day. Don't give the Devil a chance.”  (Ephesians 4:26-27 GNT)

Anger in itself is not a sin since “God is… angry with the wicked every day.” (Psalm 7:11) Anger is sinful when it flares without reflection; when it is disproportionate to the offense; when it lasts too long and becomes revengeful. 

-- From the New Unger’s Bible Dictionary

#5080

A TIME TO BE ANGRY!

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”  (Ephesians 4:25-27 NIV)

Kind of a shocking title isn't it? -- “A Time to Be Angry!”  We so often think of Christians as being meek and mild, turning the other cheek and in general, not being very aggressive.  Don't forget that Jesus became upset with the Pharisees and among other things called them… "snakes! You brood of vipers." (Matthew 33:23)  The apostle Paul did not mince words when he told the Corinthians, "Do not deceive yourselves.  If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a 'fool' so that he may become wise." (1 Corinthians 3:18)

When it came time to do their best for God, it was not a time to hold back.  In both instances they were talking to people who should have known better.  Don't be afraid to hold your brothers and sisters accountable.  Depending on the situation, sometimes a little "shock value" is required, and if it is for their salvation and the glory of God… it's not a bad thing.

-- rj van rootselaar, a subscriber in Alberta, Canada

#4781

ROOTING OUT BITTERNESS

“Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”  (Hebrews 12:15 NLT)

When I was a kid, we lived in a rural community that specialized in growing tobacco. My first summer job was weeding the crop, and most of the time we would walk the seemingly endless rows with a hoe, scuffing out weeds in relative comfort. But inevitably when we got close to the fence, we ran into thistles -- hundreds and hundreds of little thistles. They looked harmless enough, but you couldn't scuff them out with a hoe; you had to get down on your knees and pull those prickly little things out by the roots. We often thought it would be far easier to just let them stay there. After all, they weren't very big. But the farmer knew if we left them until harvest time, when we reached down to get a handful of tobacco, we would come away with a palm full of thorns.

I have found that in life, bitterness is a lot like those little thistles. We can push away hurts and pains, but the only way to get rid of bitterness is to fall to our knees and root it out through prayer. It is hard work, but if we leave a little bitterness in our hearts, it grows until it does real damage to us.

-- Alan Beck


#4639

THE ANGER OF GOD

"So the LORD'S anger burned against Israel, and He made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until the entire generation of those who had done evil in the sight of the LORD was destroyed. “  (Numbers 32:13)

God is angry at evil.

For many, this is a revelation. Some assume God is a harried high-school principal, too-busy monitoring the planets to notice. He’s not.

Others assume He is a doting parent, blind to the evil of His children. Wrong.

Still others insist He loves us so much He cannot be angry at our evil. They don’t understand that love is always angry at evil.

Many don’t understand God’s anger because they confuse the wrath of God with the wrath of man. The two have little in common.  Human anger is typically self-driven and prone to explosions of temper and violent deeds. We get ticked off because we’ve been overlooked, neglected, or cheated. This is the anger of man. It is not, however, the anger of God.

God doesn’t get angry because He doesn’t get His way. He gets angry because disobedience always results in self-destruction. What kind of father sits by and watches his child hurt himself? 

-- Max Lucado in “In the Grip of Grace”


#4546

ANGER LEADS TO HARM

“Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper -- it only leads to harm.”  (Psalm 37:8 NLT)

Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back -- in many ways it is a feast for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you. 

-- Frederick Buechner in "Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC" 


#4537

BEGIN BY GIVING THANKS

“The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults,
and with my song I give thanks to Him.”  (Psalm 28:7 ESV)

When anger toward someone who wronged you makes your sleep fitful and broken, try turning your mind and heart to prayers of gratitude. Begin by giving thanks for each good thing from that day; then move to the larger blessings of your life. When you refuse to pursue revenge and create less vengeful “movies of the mind,” you still may experience pain at the injustice of life. Life’s unfairness will continue to grate. You will know the price of refraining from retaliation. But you have begun to balance life’s harsh realities with its goodness and blessing.

-- Kathleen Fischer in “Anger: Minding Your Passion”


#4394

THE PROCESS OF EXPRESSION

I have made it a weekly practice, on a long walk on the hill behind my home, to present to God my anger against people who have wronged me.  I recount all my reasons for feeling unfairly treated or misunderstood, forcing myself to open up deep feelings to God (does God not know them anyway?).  I can testify that the outpouring itself has a therapeutic effect.  Usually I come away feeling as if I have just released a huge burden.  The unfairness no longer sticks like a thorn inside me, as it once did; I have expressed it aloud to someone -- to God.  Sometimes I find that in the process of expression, I grow in compassion.  God's Spirit speaks to me of my own selfishness, my judgmental spirit, my own flaws that others have treated with grace and forgiveness, my pitifully limited viewpoint.

-- Philip Yancey in “The Bible Jesus Read”

#4369

FORGIVENESS IS POSSIBILE

“Don't judge other people, and you will not be judged.  Don't accuse others of being guilty, and you will not be accused of being guilty.  Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”  (Luke 6:37)

Go back to the Cross and see how God through the Cross forgives us: that gives us strength to forgive each other.  We have a mandate to forgive, a liberating concept that says you have a choice.  You don't have to live with anger or resentment -- you can get rid of it.  It is possible to forgive -- through prayer and the Holy Spirit, it is possible!

-- Max Lucado


#4201

LOVE ONE ANOTHER

It is easier to be smart than to be good. You don’t need to know more from the Bible; you just need to do what you already know.

We don’t become doers on our own, of course. As we read the Scripture, we ask the Spirit to help us understand what to do in response, and the intersection of what the Scriptures teach and how our lives unfold will give us a never-ceasing stream to actually do what Jesus says. And when we forget, another chance will come along.

I was picking up a prescription one Saturday afternoon before a church service, and because I was in a hurry, I had called the night before to make sure it would be there. But when I got there, the man behind the counter told me it wouldn’t be ready until the next week. Apparently there was a mix-up between the medical people, the insurance people, and the pharmaceutical people.

“But I’ve got to have it,” I replied. I was scheduled to leave the United States the next day.

“Well, it’s not ready,” the clerk said.

“But the automated system told me last night it would be ready today.”

“There is a flaw in the automated system then,” he told me.

All of a sudden I felt unbelievable anger well inside me. A flaw in the system? I wanted to say, There’s a flaw in you! I didn’t say that, because people from my church might have been around. (That is an occupational hazard of being a pastor.) But with every gesture and tone that I could, I expressed contempt and irritation with the man behind the counter. I didn’t simply feel anger, I wanted to feel it. I indulged it. I wanted to make him feel small. I was amazed at my own ugliness.

When I returned to the church, I opened a Bible in my office and read a single phrase -- “love one another” -- and had to call a friend to tell him there was an inner jerk inside me that’s scary.

Then, after I got back from my trip, I went to the pharmacy to tell the man behind the counter I was sorry for being so irritated and how much I appreciated his help. And I was back in the flow.

-- John Ortberg in The Me I Want To Be

#3979

LOVE ONE ANOTHER

It is easier to be smart than to be good. You don’t need to know more from the Bible; you just need to do what you already know.

We don’t become doers on our own, of course. As we read the Scripture, we ask the Spirit to help us understand what to do in response, and the intersection of what the Scriptures teach and how our lives unfold will give us a never-ceasing stream to actually do what Jesus says. And when we forget, another chance will come along.

I was picking up a prescription one Saturday afternoon before a church service, and because I was in a hurry, I had called the night before to make sure it would be there. But when I got there, the man behind the counter told me it wouldn’t be ready until the next week. Apparently there was a mix-up between the medical people, the insurance people, and the pharmaceutical people.

“But I’ve got to have it,” I replied. I was scheduled to leave the United States the next day.

“Well, it’s not ready,” the clerk said.

“But the automated system told me last night it would be ready today.”

“There is a flaw in the automated system then,” he told me.

All of a sudden I felt unbelievable anger well inside me. A flaw in the system? I wanted to say, There’s a flaw in you! I didn’t say that, because people from my church might have been around. (That is an occupational hazard of being a pastor.) But with every gesture and tone that I could, I expressed contempt and irritation with the man behind the counter. I didn’t simply feel anger, I wanted to feel it. I indulged it. I wanted to make him feel small. I was amazed at my own ugliness.

When I returned to the church, I opened a Bible in my office and read a single phrase -- “love one another” -- and had to call a friend to tell him there was an inner jerk inside me that’s scary.

Then, after I got back from my trip, I went to the pharmacy to tell the man behind the counter I was sorry for being so irritated and how much I appreciated his help. And I was back in the flow.

-- John Ortberg in The Me I Want To Be

#3979

THE CALL OF GOD

The image you hold of God can affect your desire to answer the call of God in your life. For example, if you feel God is to be feared, you are unlikely to enthusiastically seek a way to use the gifts God has bestowed on you. You will be too concerned about putting a foot wrong.


If you see God as an angry God, you may be so worried about making a mistake that you cannot focus on gaining a clearer vision of life’s calling.


If, on the other hand, you see God as compassionate, you will have the freedom to explore various pathways toward clarifying that calling. Knowing God is compassionate encourages you to understand that God is patient with growing things. God is patient with you.


-- Ann Siddall and Gary Stuckey in Tending the Seed: Nurture Your God-Given Potential, © 2005. All rights reserved. Used by permission of Upper Room Books.




#3864

THE LOVE AND WRATH OF GOD

Some years ago in a small town in England a man escaped briefly from an institution for the criminally insane. During his few hours' liberty, he captured, raped, and murdered a small girl and was then apprehended by authorities. At the same time he arrived at the police station under escort, the father of the child arrived, too. The father was a mild-mannered man, but when he saw the person who had murdered his beloved child, he went berserk, and it took a number of lawmen to control him. There was no incompatibility between his love and his wrath; in fact, there was a clear connection between the two. Strangely, the intensity of his love was demonstrated in the intensity of his anger. Love for the beloved was shown in anger against that which had destroyed the beloved.

The love and wrath of God must be seen as a continuum of the divine emotion for humankind. The intensity of the love of God for people is clearly mirrored in the intensity of His antipathy to that which marred His creative masterpiece. And the greatest manifestation of the love of God, the cross of Christ, is itself the fiery focal point of the divine wrath. You cannot look at the cross and see love without wrath and wrath without love. The cross stands tall in human history as the epitome of the relationship between both.

-- Stuart Briscoe in The Fruit of the Spirit: Cultivating Christian Character

#3842

PUT ON GENTLENESS

"Put on, then, garments that suit God's chosen and beloved people: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience." (Colossians 3:12 REB)

[We] call it gentleness, but the Greeks called it praotes. Aristotle said that praotes was the perfect mean between too little anger and too much anger.

[You] thought anger was always bad?

Not at all.  No reform movement would ever have happened if someone hadn't gotten angry about the state of things as they found them.  It was when people grew angry about slavery that its death knell was sounded.  So, too, with child labor.

But the problem is to harness that anger.  That's where praotes -- gentleness -- comes in.  Anger destroys even in the name of great causes; without restraint, anger will defeat the very matters it endorses.  And our usual brand of self-control won't make it.  As William Barclay used to say, we need to be God-controlled.  That’s gentleness.  Because gentleness is power under purposeful direction.

-- J. Ellsworth Kalas in New Testament Stories from the Back Side

#3770