How can we actually avoid speaking ill of others? Here’s what I do when I am at my best and exercising restraint. First, I remember the call of Christ to avoid judging and to avoid calling names (Matthew 5:21-22). My aim is to do Christ’s will. Speaking ill of others does not accomplish my aim. Second, I try to search my own heart to see what is behind my need to speak ill of the other person. Usually the motivation will be fear, jealousy, insecurity, or revenge. I remind myself of the words of Mark Twain, “Among human beings jealousy ranks distinctly as a weakness; a trademark of small minds.” Third, I make it a point to look for the good in the other and to focus on lifting that up rather than pointing out the person’s weaknesses. Fourth, I remember the biblical call to humility, and remind myself that I may not be seeing the other the way God sees him or her. I may not know all the facts. And I remember the many ways in which I fall short of God’s plans (Romans 3:23)…
In many ways the evidence of our faith is found in our ability to control our tongue (or our keyboard). When you find Christians who speak ill of others, who tell half-truths, who resort to name-calling, remember the words of Jesus and the apostles and ask if this person reflects the life Christ call us to. The most important time to ask that question is the next time you prepare to hit the “enter” key when you are saying of another “You fool!” or let loose with your own “unwholesome talk” (Ephesians 4:29)…
Looking for the good in those with whom we disagree, expressing humility to admit that you may be wrong, and seeking to remove the log from your own eye before removing the splinter from your neighbor’s eye (Matthew 7:5) -- these are the characteristics of Christ’s followers. And it is in remembering and practicing these Scriptures that Christians will stop being the wedge that divides our nation, and start acting instead as bridge-builders and peace-makers.
-- Adam Hamilton in “Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White”
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