"David sang this lament over Saul and his son Jonathan, and gave orders that everyone in Judah learn it by heart." (II Samuel 1:17-18 MSG)
David called the nation to mourning. He rendered weeping a public policy. He refused to gloss over or soft-pedal death. He faced it, fought it, challenged it. But he didn't deny it. As his son Solomon explained, "There is…a time to mourn" (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 NIV).
Give yourself some. Face your grief with tears, time, and -- one more -- face your grief with truth. Paul urged the Thessalonians to grieve, but he didn't want the Christians to "carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word." (I Thessalonians 4:13 MSG).
God has the last word on death. And, if you listen, He will tell you the truth about your loved ones. They've been dismissed from the hospital called Earth. You and I still roam the halls, smell the medicines, and eat green beans and Jell-O off plastic trays. They, meanwhile, enjoy picnics, inhale springtime, and run through knee-high flowers. You miss them like crazy, but can you deny the truth? They have no pain, doubt, or struggle. They really are happier in heaven.
And won't you see them soon? Life blisters by at mach speed. "You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before You. Each man's life is but a breath" (Psalm 39:5 NIV).
When you drop your kids off at school, do you weep as though you'll never see them again? When you drop your spouse at the store and park the car, do you bid a final forever farewell? No. When you say, "I'll see you soon," you mean it. When you stand in the cemetery and stare down at the soft, freshly turned earth and promise, "I'll see you soon," you speak the truth. Reunion is a splinter of an eternal moment away.
So go ahead, face your grief. Give yourself time. Permit yourself tears. God understands. He knows the sorrow of a grave. He buried His Son. But He also knows the joy of resurrection. And, by His power, you will too.
-- Max Lucado in Facing Your Giants