Why am I a thousand-piece puzzle when everyone else
is already put together?… Who am I now? Who am I, now that my loved one has
died? …
All I seem to see are the scattered pieces of my
life cast before me on the card table, waiting for me to pick them up and make
the picture. But what picture do all these pieces form? I used to think I knew.
I used to know who I was and where I was going and how I was going to get
there. But now… I can't even remember where the puzzle begins and I end….
Am I still a mother if there is no child to tuck in
at night? Am I still a dad if there is no one to loan the car keys to? Am I
still a wife if there is no one to snuggle up to in my bed? Am I still a
husband if there is no one waiting at home for me at the end of the day? Am I
still a sister or brother if there is no one to tease? Am I still a child if my
parent has died? Am I still a human being, capable of loving and being loved,
if the one person I loved more than anything has become frozen in time? Who am
I now that my loved one has died?…
Keep turning the puzzle pieces over. But don't keep
trying to put them back into the same picture. That picture is gone. There is a
new picture to be made of those scattered pieces. Search for that scene. Search
for the new you... search for the new person you are becoming…
There is joy in living… if we allow time… to
reassemble the thousand-piece puzzle.
-- Darcie D. Sims in TCF Salt Lake City
January/February 2001 Newsletter
#4254
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