Does it feel at times as if grief defines your life? You may wonder: Is this who I have become, a half person whose life has context only because of death? Perhaps your spirit seems resigned to a tentative half life where you live in your mind in a conditioned state of emotional hyper vigilance. You hold on; you let go; you grow forward. You want to live, to have love and joy again flood your life with blessing and abandon, yet the persistence of death seems to defy adjustment. Even so, you continue to try to grow forward.
In unexpected pinhole moments, joy beckons to you on the other side of grief, calling you to warm the cold of your heart and live in the moment with joy, enthusiasm, and engagement. You wonder how you will replace your former joy with your loved one gone.
Grief offers you two possibilities: You grow, or you remain rooted in a physical or emotional past that no longer exists. You choose whether to grow and adjust through grief. When you resist growth and adjustment, you succumb to the past, spending your day in frustration and self-pity. But when you choose to grow, you claim life. Growth and adjustment move you to a new place that inspires reinvestment in the future. You grow spiritually when, in faith, you allow the forward dynamic of grief to propel you away from the past toward the light of new life.
-- Julie Yarbrough in Beyond the Broken Heart