THE JEWELS OF REMEMBRANCE

The death of a dear one is the most profound of all sorrows.  The grief that comes with such a loss is intense and multifaceted, affecting our emotions, our bodies and our lives.  Grief is preoccupying and depleting.  Emotionally, grief is a mixture of raw feelings such as sorrow, anguish, anger, regret, longing, fear, and deprivation.  Grief may be experienced physically as exhaustion, emptiness, tension, sleeplessness, or loss of appetite.  'Grief invades our daily lives in many sudden gaps and changes, like that empty place at the dinner table, or the sudden loss of affection and companionship, as well as in the many new apprehensions, adjustments, and uncertainties.  The loss of a dear one throws every aspect of our lives out of balance.  The closer we were to the person who died, the more havoc the loss creates.  Love does not die quickly.  Hence to grieve is also 'to celebrate the depth of the [relationship].  Tears are then the jewels of remembrance, sad but glistening with the beauty of the past.  So grief in its bitterness marks the end … but it also is praise to the one who is gone.'

-- Judy Tatelbaum in The Courage to Grieve


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