"How large a cup of tears must I drink, 0 God? How much is enough?" (Ann Weems)
Ann Weems' Psalms of Lament come straight from the deep heartache of her son's death. Her psalms, based on the psalms of the Hebrew scriptures, are honest, gutsy, keening cries of distress. These prayers remind me that through the ages, hurting people have raised their anguished voices to God. These voices have been filled with questions, demands, accusations, and beseechings. They have implored, begged, and pleaded with God.
I used to be too nice with God when I was feeling like a broken cup. I realize now that not being honest with God about my situation only added to my anger and hostility. Keeping it all inside, trying to hide it, benefited no one and only generated more self-pity and resentment. I do not believe that God sends suffering. Suffering happens because of our human condition and because of the way that transformation occurs with its natural cycle of life-death-life. Still, this reality does not take away my human emotional response when pain is intensely penetrating nor does it cease my hope that God will somehow choose a miracle on my behalf.
The Jewish psalms have taught me a lot about how to pray when life is tough. The psalmist yells, screams, and pokes a finger at God now and then in accusatory blame. The psalmist wonders why God isn't making some changes. Once the emotional tirade of woes is over, then another equally valuable part of the prayer comes. The psalmist closes by expressing confidence and hope in God, trusting that all shall eventually be well. The prayer style of the psalms assures me of how good it is to be honest with myself, as well as with God, and to count on God's healing presence to eventually bring me peace of mind and heart.
Every nook and cranny of our lives, no matter how painful, deserves God's attention. Psalm 56 addresses God with this reassurance: "You have ... put my tears in your bottle" (v 8). In other words, God gathers our pain and struggle and holds it compassionately. It is good to bring God our tears. God can catch them and hold them with care until we find our inner peace again.
-- Joyce Rupp in The Cup of Our Life
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